3 Practical and Powerful Ways to Love Your Enemies

We had to go there – we can’t discuss love without talking about the hard stuff, like loving those who are most challenging to love. The Bible calls them your enemies, but they are people who have hurt you, come against you, stolen from you, etc. This isn’t Christianity 101 here. Pull on your big boy or girl britches, and let’s do this!

The Royal Law

James 2:8-9 says, “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.”

 The royal law is the supreme law – the law of love. We are commanded to love God and love people. He didn’t say what kind of people or only the friendly people. No, He commanded us to love ALL people without partiality.

 In one of Jesus’ famous sermons, He addressed this seemingly controversial subject. Jesus says in Luke 6:27-36;

 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods, do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

 But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”

 I’ve heard Christians argue, “Surely Jesus didn’t mean I had to love those who have wronged me.” And my answer is, why not? I was recently told that there are some people and situations that we don’t have to forgive. My response is, show me in the Bible.

 Jesus made it really clear who our enemies are, and the description is not too pretty. These are people who: hate you, curse you, use you, been abusive toward you, and steal from you. Really, we’re supposed to love them?

 I think part of our hang-up is our definition of love. We often use the word love to mean that we really like something or someone. But that’s not the definition of love we are to give to our enemies. The other part we miss is that this love is not from us. It was given to us by God, and therefore, we are to give that love – the love of God to others.

This gift of love from our Father isn’t to be hoarded. It’s to be given (as we learned in last week’s blog). More than that, love is the pathway through which God works. I had seen God change the hearts of my enemies when I simply obeyed the commandment of love (even when I didn’t feel like it or if they deserved it). They certainly didn’t deserve kindness, but God wanted to reach them too – and love was the only way to do it.

 How to Love Your Enemies

I promised you some practical ways to love your enemies, so here it is:

1.         Quit talking about them or what they did to you. Use the old Kindergarten wisdom; if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Now, I don’t mean you can’t discuss your situation with a pastor, Christian friend, or Christian therapist. But those conversations move you forward in healing, not keep you bound with bitterness. When we talk bad and complain about someone, we remain in the hurt. My husband said, “You can never love your enemies more than you talk about them.” Ouch!

2.         Do good toward them. Depending on the situation, kindness might just be the tool that diffuses your enemy. I had another situation happen where from no fault of my own, the individual was put in a position where they felt wronged and put out. Again, what happened was not my fault, but I received the brunt of their frustrations.

So, what did I do? First, I asked God for wisdom, and He showed me exactly what to do. The gist was I was to act with a gesture of kindness. That act of kindness diffused the situation and their anger. We then continued to have a peaceful relationship as if nothing had ever happened.

3.         Pray for them. Sometimes the only thing we can do is pray for them. Let me say in all situations, prayer is the most important thing. But there are some people we needn’t interact with, especially if that person has been abusive. We can pray for them and do number one – don’t speak about them.

 Prayer will begin to soften your heart toward them, where you actually have empathy for them because of how miserable they must be. It will also give us a Kingdom perspective (God’s vs. our limited view).

 Of course, all three of these actions are part of forgiveness – which is ultimately what we are commanded to do. Forgiveness is a non-negotiable part of our Christian walk. It is part of God’s expectations for us, His children.

 I want to reiterate that loving your enemies does not mean that you are trying to be their friend. Some people need to be removed from your life for various reasons. However, you can still pray for them, refuse to talk about them, and do good toward them by releasing them from your life with forgiveness.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Have you seen God move on your behalf when you loved your enemies?