The topic of righteousness is not a subject that is often discussed when talking about marriage. However, righteousness is something that isn’t confined to our spiritual life. As Christians, it is our life – it’s who we are. So why not apply it to our marriages?

Many times, Christian marriage advice revolves around good communication and conflict resolution. While those things are very important, it’s also vital to make sure the foundation of our marriages is strong by having strong biblical marriage principles in place. Marriage and faith go hand in hand. It’s God’s design for how marriage is supposed to be.

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Understanding True Righteousness

Righteousness is such a simple concept, yet it can feel complex to understand. Simply put, righteousness is having right standing with God. The moment we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are given the gift of righteousness. Our sins are washed clean by the blood of Jesus. Praise God!

So why does that seem so complicated? Because we still have a sinful nature that messes up continually. Therefore, we must make it our aim to align ourselves with the way we have been created to be. We have to do as Romans 12:1 says, “…that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.”

It’s our duty to consecrate ourselves to God – to do our best to line up with righteousness. It feels like a sacrifice when we bow our flesh to do the will of God.

Applying Righteousness to Modern Marriage

If we want our lives and our homes to reflect the glory of God, we’re going to have to live differently than the world. There are some things that are deemed acceptable by the world’s standards, but they aren’t acceptable for God’s sons and daughters. We need to lay our relationships on the sacrificial altar as well and let God speak to us about them.

Romans 1:25 says that people exchanged the truth of God for the lie. What lies have we, as Christians, easily bought into? The rest of Romans 1 discusses the ugly sins included in unrighteousness – some of which our society proudly celebrates as love, acceptance, and tolerance.

I believe it’s past time for us to acknowledge sin as sin, ask God for forgiveness, and get back in line with righteousness and strong Christian family values.

The Role of Grace in Marriage

That’s the blessing of grace. Grace is God’s unmerited favor given to us. I like to say that it makes up the difference in what we’re lacking. It helps us be a living a sacrifice when our flesh wants to crawl off the altar.

We need grace every day – and we certainly need grace in our homes with our spouses and children.

• Grace forgives. How many times do we need to forgive ourselves and our spouse? All the time!
• Grace forgets. Have you ever said, or heard someone say, “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget?” Unfortunately, that’s not what the Bible says. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “…(Love – God’s love in us) takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].”
• Grace fills a need. A good marriage is made of two imperfect people who help each other. We need one another to help with our weaknesses.

Action Steps for Couples

For Personal Reflection:

1. How do I currently define righteousness in my marriage? Does this align with God's definition?
2. In what ways am I seeking my own righteousness instead of God's righteousness in my relationship?
3. When was the last time I extended grace to my spouse without expecting anything in return?
4. What old habits or "baggage" might be preventing me from fully aligning with God's principles in my marriage?

For Couple Discussion:

1. How are we currently practicing grace in our marriage? Where could we extend more grace to each other?
2. What areas of our marriage need better alignment with God's Word?
3. How can we better support each other's spiritual growth while strengthening our marriage?
4. What practical steps can we take this week to better communicate and align our goals?

For Action Steps:

1. What is one area where we need to seek God's righteousness first in our marriage?
2. How can we create regular time to discuss both spiritual and practical aspects of our marriage?
3. What boundaries do we need to establish or adjust to protect our marriage?
4. Where do we see God's grace working in our relationship, and how can we build on that?

Closing Question for Implementation:

• What is one step we can take today to bring our marriage into better alignment with God's principles?

Conclusion

Building a righteous marriage isn't about achieving perfection – it's about creating a foundation that stands firm on God's principles. Through understanding true righteousness and applying it to our marriages, we open the door for God's grace to work in powerful ways within our relationships.

Remember, righteousness in marriage isn't just about following rules or meeting religious expectations. It's about maintaining right standing with God as a couple and allowing His truth to guide your relationship. When we align our marriages with God's Word and extend grace to one another, we create an environment where love can flourish and grow stronger.

If you're looking to deepen your marriage journey, we invite you to explore our Marriage Builders course. This comprehensive program offers practical tools and biblical wisdom to help you build a stronger, more aligned relationship. Click this link to learn more about how we can help you strengthen your marriage foundation.

As you move forward, remember that every step toward righteousness in your marriage is a step toward bringing hope home to your family. Start today by choosing one area where you can align more closely with God's principles, and watch how His grace transforms your relationship.

Whether you're just starting your marriage journey or have been together for years, it's never too late to build a stronger foundation based on God's righteousness. Let's commit to bringing hope home to our marriages, one righteous decision at a time.